TS: I noticed when you said, as someone who never had a desire to be a mother, I heard this collective gasp like, “Oh my, you never…?” And I think that’s very interesting that it still feels to me, when I sort of just was listening to you talk, that there’s a taboo, like, “You never had a desire to be a mother, really?” So yes, it came from a very personal place. It was very specific and I described that moment in the book, in the last chapter. And I hadn’t found anything that really dove into it with the level of depth that I felt ready to consider my own feelings about motherhood, my own procreate potential at this pivotal sort of time in my life. And when I say that this is a subject that deserves weight and consideration, I mean whether or not to become a parent is central to our lives, it’s central to our humanity. I’ve been a voracious reader from age five and I had found so few books on this subject that really few books that really got under the skin of this subject in a deep and meaningful way, that gave the subject the weight and the consideration that it deserves. So it was really in that moment that I realized we need to talk about this. And the heaping piles of shame and stigma and self-doubt that I had experienced around this very central decision in my life had actually not come from inside me, had been very largely a result of other people’s projections, societal conditioning, about my purpose as a woman, honestly. The path I had taken with my life had been absolutely right for me. And as somebody who had never had a desire to be a mother, but who had been led to believe that there was something missing or that I had somehow missed the point and that I would very likely live to regret not becoming a mother, I realized reading this book, I’m feeling quite excited about the end of my reproductive years. She described menopause as the gateway to a woman’s second adulthood, rather than the end of anything, it was actually the beginning of a whole new chapter in a woman’s life. Now I was 43 at the time and had, I suppose, just started contemplating what this transition might mean for me, and her book was incredibly galvanizing. The Silent Passage was her book about menopause, and it was, in the words from the back cover of the book, “a radical reframing of menopause.” And it was written, I think, in the early ‘90s. She wrote passages people might be familiar with-that very popular work of hers. It feels like something is knocking on the doorway of my soul saying, are you ready? What do you think? And I, in that moment, was sitting on a beach in Vieques off the coast of Puerto Rico, and I had just devoured a copy of a book called The Silent Passage by the journalist Gail Sheehy. It’s an invitation, as Elizabeth Gilbert writes about in Big Magic. And it does feel that way, very much, when I have an idea for a book. Ruby Warrington: These factors had been converging over the course of my life, but there was a very specific moment when this book entered my consciousness as the next project that I wanted to give myself to. To begin, Ruby, can you share with our listeners what brought you to the point where you felt confident-I want to write the book, Women Without Kids ? What were the factors that converged? Here’s my conversation with Ruby Warrington. It’s called Women Without Kids: The Revolutionary Rise of an Unsung Sisterhood, a book that asks us to deeply question our societal judgments about women without children, and instead to see the evolutionary potential of what Ruby calls this unsung sisterhood. With Sounds True, Ruby Warrington has written a new book. Her previous books include Material Girl, Mystical World, a book called Sober Curious and The Sober Curious Reset. Ruby has the unique ability to identify issues that are destined to become part of the cultural narrative. Ruby is a British-born author, editor, and publishing consultant recognized as a true thought leader in the wellness space. You’re listening to Insights at the Edge. And in advance, thank you for your support. I also want to take a moment and introduce you to the Sounds True Foundation, our nonprofit that creates equitable access to transformational tools and teachings. Explore, come have fun with us and connect with others. Sounds True One features original, premium transformational docuseries community events classes to start your day and relax in the evening and special weekly live shows, including a video version of Insights at the Edge with an after-show community question-and-answer session with featured guests. I also want to take a moment to introduce you to Sounds True’s new membership community and digital platform, it’s called Sounds True One. My name’s Tami Simon and I’m the founder of Sounds True, and I want to welcome you to the Sounds True podcast: Insights at the Edge.
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